"You have heard that it was said, 'spoon for spoon, and smooch for smooch.' But I tell you, Do not resist a cuddly person. If someone strikes you on the right butt cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to cuddle you and take your bra, let him have your panties as well."
"Do not cuddle, or you too will be cuddled. For in the same way you cuddle others, you will be cuddled, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the down comforter."
"So God created man in his own image (big eyebrows and fluffy hair, apparently), in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.' But before you do, use some protection and get freaky for a few years. I doth recommend the side streets of Center."
"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine. Keepeth Maggie off thine bed and furniture for she poopeth and shedeth fur."
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