Rainy Days and Mondays

Today was a great day for sleeping! I snugged into bed around 10:30am; the rain fell steadily on my windows as the clouds hid the sun turning my typically bright bedroom into a warm darkness. I read "To Kill a Mockingbird" until my eyes could no longer focus on the letters creating words comprising sentences which lead my fingers to turn page after page. I was soon asleep, dreaming; a vivid dream so real I could have been in high definition. I woke crying, partially from the dream, partially from the stress of the past few weeks. I turned to my left side and molded the battered feather pillow under my head and was again asleep. This time was it didn't feel like a dream, it was more a conscious stream of thought, awareness. Why did I watch the VHS tape of last night's "The Bachelor" this morning? How did I get in the episode? How difficult is it vying for one man's attention in a pool-full of gorgeous women? How did this guy from Dillon, Illinois, end up in the pool? Anyone, and I'm sure none of you :) who have ever watched an episode of "The Bachelor" know there is never another man on the show with the exception of the host. Who's heard of Dillon, Illinois? I haven't, never been there, not even sure it existed 'til I Mapquested it.

(Dillon, Illinois is approximately 21.42 miles, south-southeast of Peoria, population 962.)

And, this Dillon guy had eyes I have seen before. He was made of a thick body that felt like home as I wrapped my arms around him and warmth rushed over me as his arms embraced me and pulled me tight-- a perfect puzzle piece.

A dreamer, unrealistic, head-in-the-clouds, but don't call me a hopeless romantic, I have all the hope in the world. Sure sometimes I'm cynical, okay! Extremely cynical, but I know there is that "dream" guy out there for me. One who makes me feel like I'll never wake up. One that I can love with everything I am, have been, and will be. One who won't roll his eyes at me when I know I am being funny :) One who makes me laugh. And the one who won't leave me, even if I push and run. One who will hold my hand. One who will love me like no one else can.